Going against the current

Minutes from now

John Ryan Recabar — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:55:21 +0000

Instead of wasting my time waiting for my pdf reader installer (or whatever it’s called) to finish downloading and before I continue writing my paper on the ancient Kingdom of Ayutthaya, I might as well leave some thoughts here. I’ll be spending the rest of my night later evaluating essays on the history of several ancient …

A night on the roof deck

John Ryan Recabar — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:44:08 +0000

It was like the last time, we both ended up spending time on the roof deck, only this time we did not swim because the air was too cold, the water even colder. Instead we sat on a quiet corner and talked about how small we were compared to the tall buildings surrounding us, what …

John Ryan Recabar — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 06:46:30 +0000

It took the person I love most to make me realize how low I’ve dipped. And the realization came too late. I already lost the person forever. For long I have been convincing myself that going through change is a slow, walk-in-the-park process, where I take my time and I change like the seasons, in …

January 9, 2012

John Ryan Recabar — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 04:35:21 +0000

I have not seen you only for a week now, but it felt like a lifetime has already passed. It was as if I was back to where I was before I met you. No, even worse. Multiply that misery and loneliness by a hundred and have it squared, no, cubed, no, multiply it by …

To you

John Ryan Recabar — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:59:57 +0000

I brought this to myself. I can never be sorrier. I just miss you. In the whole universe.

Today*

John Ryan Recabar — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 08:21:18 +0000

We begin thinking about the future more, incessantly, when the present becomes shaky, that not even the certainty of the past can ensure that what will be tomorrow is the same as how yesterday’s tomorrow became moments ago. I knew it was meant to be forever because I was hoping and praying for it to …

Bukas

John Ryan Recabar — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 13:33:40 +0000

I have neglected this site for a month. And it’s bareness is telling. I’ll be posting something, soon. Tomorrow.

On laughing

John Ryan Recabar — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 11:40:30 +0000

I’m in the first semester of my second year in grad school. I do not know whether this is doing me any good or I am ending up more confused than when I entered. I know that I am going somewhere, I should; I do not know, though, whether this somewhere is a place I …

On the changes happening

John Ryan Recabar — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 16:11:40 +0000

None of us, not even the most free-living of souls, would want to remain in this sorry state for good, would not want to be domesticated and be sort of pinned down to the ground. Novelty can be fatiguing at certain points. We all want to go back to a place where there is a …

An old photo

John Ryan Recabar — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 16:31:39 +0000

Thanks to Facebook and its subscribers who almost instinctively upload pictures unearthed from their files or old family albums and tag everyone in the picture, I am happily reminded of how malnourished-looking I was when I was very young, how my older sister was much taller than I and darker-skinned, how my younger brother was …