Boredom and a sense of meaninglessness

A reflection written by the author a year ago, but could never be truer now.

I never knew that a life of an adult could be this boring. It is already the semestral break, and I am left with nothing to do but read books and go to the gym. I neither am in thirst for knowledge nor I work on to develop my abs, I am just bored.

Just this afternoon, the discussion in the AM radio already saturated my sensibilities with mundane topics that I decided to go to the mall bringing with me a book entitled All the Names by a Portuguese Nobel Prize for Literature Laureate Jose Saramago I bought from a second-hand store. I entered a coffee shop where smoking is allowed. I drank two cups of brewed coffee and finished a pack of Philip Morris Lights. As I was reading and occasionally looking at the people around me, I noticed nothing but artificiality and lack of self-direction.

In the novel, the character Senjor Jose noticed that an old woman who is usually reluctant to talk with strangers ended up divulging to him her sinful past. She said that all of us, at one time in our lives, need also to vent out our emotions to people we do not know at all. This tendency is being increased because of the alienation that modern society burdens us to keep things in ourselves.

I’m bored because I got nobody to talk to. This takes a little courage to admit to the world that I am sad because although the world bombards us with noise and endless chatter, we, in one way or the other, seek for that humanly conversation. But the people around me with their laughter and loud discussions made me think that everthing is okay, and I alone am facing this predicament. But I know that this is not the case. Still I ask, why do we continue to show an artificial facade when we can all benefit if we admit our vulnerability?

I just think this is plain hypocricy.

I finished my coffee and my pack of cigarette, but the boredom remains. I went home and continued reading….


Cover of the book \

“Strictly speaking, we do not make decisions, decisions make us. The proof can be found in the fact that, though life leads us to carry out the most diverse actions one after the other, we do not preclude each one with a period of reflection, evaluation and calculation, and only then declare ourselves able to decide if we will go out to lunch or buy a newspaper or look for the unknown woman.” —Saramago, José All the Names, 1st Eng. ed.,