Search for truth

I know it sounds so assuming for me to define truth at this age when I do not have anything near what I can call as a legitimate career, a stable life, or a fairly static emotion. I have nothing worthy to die or to live for. I’m like a prokaryotic bacterium with no defined identity, constantly in a flux, free-living. I swear that if I fail to wake up tomorrow no revolution will occur. Things will remain as they are if not for few tears my mother will shed, and the world will go on, not stopping even for a while to mourn for one soul lost.

We are all looking for something. Life ends when we already find that thing. In fact I think that life is a search. But what makes it more difficult is the fact that we do not know what we are looking for more so how to find that thing or where to look for it.

As for me I only want to find truth. A truth I am not certain exists. There’s no such thing as the truth, I know. What I look for is a truth I’ll have no second thoughts of believing in. This truth may already have been written in the stories I wrote or read or I may have inadvertently missed them while I was so preoccupied with nonsensical ideas. I think that sometimes, the entire creative process saps me of any strength to continue my search and just dwell on what is readily perceived by my senses. I seek not to be profound. In fact I believe that truth is a result of a careful distillation process with an end product of nothing but the fundamentals that I shall use to deduce meaning and explain my world with. But I have no intention to just settle with what my senses tell me. Because if that is how easy it is then we might as well have committed suicide because life will be nothing but satisfying carnal desires.

My desire to find truth started when I learned to read and when I eventually learned how to write down my thoughts on paper. Reading magnifies and deepens the emptiness we feel inside. This search for truth fills in the void. You notice that reading is a double-edged sword. It opens up and fills in at the same time. That’s one of the paradoxes when one’s life is dedicated to nothing but that instinctual search for truth.

Some search truth in their faith, their belief to a being unfathomable. Some travel the world even go as far as the outer space just to see themselves against a vast perspective. Others are just too tired to find their truths.

As for me, I’m like anybody else, journeying, trying hard to define, breathing and looking forward to a new day to find my own truth.

2 thoughts on “Search for truth”

  1. I did a wordpress search using “search for truth” as the keywords.

    In almost every blog post, the author started out with something to the effect that “most people this…” or “lots of people that…”

    Your blog post is unique and credible because, despite everything else, it comes directly from your own experience.

    Anyone who has experienced oneself as soul knows soul can only speak from its own experience.

    Glimpses into self-realization are soul’s way of preparing for the greater journey to God-realization.

    Were I you, I would take great heart and breath in a deep breath of happiness. That you speak so openly and directly from your own experience reveals a spiritual self which is well on the way to realizing God.

    1. john,

      interesting how i think older post i’ve written many years ago come to haunt me in times i least expect.

      and this is one of the first posts i have written when i just started blogging.

      but i hope this search will lead me to God, or to any powerful supernatural being, as things are going on now, i am getting impatient. i am a young man who’s growing up in an all-instant society. but writing is such a beautiful exercise–it teaches me to be patient.

      thanks a lot for spending time to read. i appreciate it.

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