How to get those rock-hard abs?

How to get those rock-hard abs?

Asked an almost obese guy to an overly-muscular gym instructor in a TV ad that tries to sell a machine that promises to give a rock-hard abs in four minutes.

The obese guy, miraculously transformed himself into an Arnold Schwarzenegger-like specimen after two weeks. “Impossible, but true,” said the closing spiel of the fat-man-no-more.

Second to a huge penis, a modern man is obsessed with his abs. But unlike the penis whose length and girth are rather for life unless of course evasive surgery is done to extend it, which is beyond the capacity of most men to pay, developing the abs is generally easier, at least compared to penile enlargement.

Abs is a commonly used colloquialism for the abdominal muscles. It is the group of muscles running up and down in the abdominal wall that contains the rectus abdominus muscle, “rectus” meaning straight.”

Media has conditioned the consumers’ mind that abs is sought after by everyone, a sign of health, and discipline if we extend it further. Men, and even some women, want it because it looks good. And what looks good in a society like ours is not actually based on philosophical or metaphysical definition of aesthetics, rather beauty as how it is portrayed and misrepresented in television. So if a certain popular movie star is donning a stupid Mohawk haircut, then Mohawk, no matter how atrocious it looks, is going to be beautiful. Same is true with having abs.

However, as regards abs, no matter how hard the work out and long gym time time needed to ‘sculpt’, or impossible for some who are not genetically destined to have toned abdomen, most men still pursue it not wanting to abandon the dream of having six-packs, at whatever expense.

Here are simple, easy to follow guides to have this wash-board abs:

1. Do 10,000 crunches everyday, that is, if you have time to spare. (If you do it, say one second per sit up, then it will roughly take you 2 and a quarter hours, without rest, and you’re on your way towards having the dreamed abs.

2. If you are overly endowed with fat around the waist area, give up the 10,000 crunches scheme. You may have time to spare, but the sculpted abs will never appear unless you get rid of all those fats. Not eating anything for a week, is the best advice since your body fat will just be enough to supply your energy need. In a week’s time, six pack coming up!

3. If the first two do not work, and the content of your bank account is rather considerable plus the fact that blood doesn’t scare you, then liposuction is for you.

4. If the third one still doesn’t work then refer again to number one and do the entire process all over again.

According to a 2004 study conducted by David A. Frederick, Daniel M.T. Fessler and Martie G. Haselton of the University of California, Los Angeles, men overestimate the degree of muscularity that is attractive to women, and women overestimate the degree of thinness that is most attractive to men.

Consistent with the thesis that sociocultural input influences such body type preferences and beliefs, they postulated that magazines aimed at a male audience would portray a more muscular male body ideal than would magazines aimed at a female audience. Systematic comparison of popular magazines (Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Men’s Fitness, and Muscle & Fitness) revealed that the ideal male body marketed to men is more muscular than the ideal male body marketed to women.

Herein they introduced the Physical Trait Overvaluation Hypothesis, which proposes that gender-specific media fuel emphasis on certain body parts in within-gender prestige competitions. The resulting competitive escalation creates a disconnect between the preferences of one gender and the personal aspirations of the other.

While searching for the definition of abs, I chanced to read this usage of the word: Abs are no longer abs, they’re queer abs, and anybody who has abs, is queer. It occured to me that although the study conducted by the UCLA Department of Psychology does hold water, it is worth mentioning that these male muscle magazines that target the male market also victimize a segment of that market: the homosexual health buffs, who like heterosexual males, are also inclined to be as muscular, with the development of the abs as their top priority (no study has been conducted so far with regard to this predilection for six packs).

For now, modern society’ penchant in having the toned, well-sculpted, abdominal muscle is here to stay.


18 thoughts on “How to get those rock-hard abs?”

  1. The persuit of the “perfect” abs… a total lost cause to anyone who thinks they can buy some special ab-building pills or a magic-ab-developer machine, LOL.

    Anyone who REALLY wants to achieve the fabled 6-pack should check out an actual step-by-step program like Mike Geary’s Truth About Abs program. Even the free info he gives you is enough to get pretty decent results. Also, Vince Del Monte Fitness has got a program that’s really good too, but it’s a bit more hardcore.
    But in the end, hardcore effort = hardcore results. Flabs won’t ever become abs without some work!

  2. Too bad, some people don’t know how satire works. Perhaps, they lack some sense of humor. I’m thinking, they could always pretend ‘to know’. That would more humorous and reminiscent of a ‘satire’. lol.

  3. yes. if it seems like that to you then it is. any problem with that?

    and if i plastered it there, it’s my prerogative. i worked hard to have that; i’m only celebrating the beauty of the human body. you think that’s bad? oh come on.

  4. is it?

    this blog is celebrating how it is to be twenty-something using the author’s perspective. it simply is impossible to write about the all problems of the world and to be noble as you see it.

    The article is supposed to be a critique, a satire of our culture’s “abs-worship”, you might have misunderstood it.

    but i appreciate you for giving your opinion. i will not, however, apologize if i disturbed your sensibilities on the issue.

  5. this is such an ego centric blog. then showing to the world you got 6 pack abdominal muscles??!?!! what about the others who cant even exercise because they are not free to do so? there are more important things to prioritize and vanity is not one of them.

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