Five months ago, before I left for my scholarship, I bought a notebook that is supposed to be my journal where I would write my daily expenses, my problems, the new words I would learn, the people I meet along, and so many other things. On its cover are witty questions about human’s idiosyncrasies. I’ve written them down here.
I remember asking these curious questions when I was younger, but as I grew older and became more assimilated in the adult world; I simply surrendered and stop asking questions like these. I stopped not for fear of being ridiculed for asking such childish questions but because of the suspicion that that adult world will not have answers for them. I simply distrust adults. They are not as smart as a five-year-old to ask similar questions and give corresponding intelligent answers.
So here they are:
How can there be self-help GROUPS?
Why is it good to be a Daddy’s girl, but bad to be a Mommy’s boy?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say that Humpty Dumpty is an egg?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn’t it be leaving a dump?
Why doesn’t the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
If love is blind, how do we believe in love at first sight?
Why are toe nail clippers bigger than finger nail clippers when toe nails are smaller than our finger nails?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
Why do crackers have holes, not cracks?
Why are boxing rings square?
Why do water bottles have a “best if used by” date?
Why do we have to pay a toll on “freeways”?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If hardware overheats, does it turn into software?
Why is it called rush hour when you don’t move?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they’re always covered with sheets?
If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea…does that mean the fifth person enjoys it?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
Would a fly without wings be called a “walk”?
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
How come they call them buildings if they’ve already been built?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Is there another word for synonym?
Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is still the same?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
What on earth is a “free gift”? Aren’t all gifts free?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends, if they’re okay, then it’s you.
Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite?
Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are billions of stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you the wall has wet paint on it you still touch it to be sure?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell “mnemonic”?
Why do people order double cheese burger, large fries, and a Diet Coke?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment, but when you transport something buy ship, it’s called cargo?
Isn’t it a little bit unnerving when doctors call what they do “practice”?