I have been blogging for the past seven months, which started in June 2008 when I came here in Hanoi, Vietnam to pursue a scholarship on Vietnamese Language. The creation of this blog was prompted by my existential yearning, of the need to constantly assert my existence. Though the reasons may have changed why I write my blog entries this time, the blog is still grounded on the basic objective to tell the stories of a twenty-something caught (or chose to be caught) in a situation of almost-daily uncertainties.
My 2008 was a year of pandemonium and constant changes that sometimes I felt I have most of the time failed to digest and reflect on all the events that occurred to me. These I think are missed opportunities that could have allowed me to grow more, learn other things, and ask important questions whose answers are equally as important if not more important. I met a lot of people, lost contact with old friends, but at the same time linked those lost ties I have with people whom I thought will forever not cross on the same path with me.
Last night, while I was with a group of foreigners celebrating the new year in a small pub in Hanoi’s old quarter, amid the singing of Abba’s “Happy New Year”, and the all-important countdown, I almost ruined the mood when I started asking my self why I am in that place and doing the middle-class version of meeting the new year, and then began thinking that this is a wonderful world while humming Louis Armstrong’s “What A Wonderful World” and Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s cool, deep version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.
My life may not be as perfect as I want it to be or people who are close to me think, but I am happy with my current status. My bank account contains shameless, almost nonexistent amount of money; I don’t have a house to go to at the end of every tiring day, but at least I don’t have something that would keep me rooted in one place and continuously ask myself what can be found in the moon’s dark side; I don’t have a permanent job to speak of, but I promise after school l will look for a decent one that I can be proud of and will provide me a compensation that won’t make me feel short-changed.
What lies ahead is what today is yesterday – uncertain, unknown, but something we look forward to.
I may not sound hopeful, but I am a man of hopes and almost boundless dreams. I’ll bring 2009 on. I danced the night out last night, I hope my 2009 will be as exhilarating, as exciting, as challenging.
Happy New Year everyone.