Writing is a thought process. In fact the entire task of writing occurs not on a piece of paper or a monitor of a computer but in the mind. The act of writing is only a manifestation of the synthesis of thoughts inside the human mind, a reflection of what has been a painful activity of thinking and extracting sense from experiences or some universals nature wired in us. This explains why I would rather exhaust my body physically by lifting weights in a gym than to think what to write next in the newspaper I am working for, application essays, or posts in this blog.
Writing is feeding my inner demons and thinking that by doing so I am alleviating the mental torture they cause inside me. It’s a desperate attempt to annihilate them all by writing them down, purging myself of the thoughts I never want to occur but who push themselves on me. They have lives of their own that exist inside me.
There were days when I had given up on writing, days when I felt nothing but exhaustion from the entire thought process, but then again I could not help my self but to give in to their incessant prodding to be expressed in no other form but writing.
I am wont to believe that writers are the most miserable people in the world. They are the most bitter, hardened, numbest group of people. This is a result of being consumed by the act of giving life to thoughts are meant to have been left dead. Writers are the weakest people; they are most of the time unable to resist their dark sides. They profess to be objective, scientific, logical, but whatever comes out of their pen are nothing but contaminated specks of an equally hideous entity they call idea.
I confess that writing exhausts me these days. Probably I just need some rest from this despicable chore of saying almost the same thing over and over again. I might not write anything in the next few days just to have some respite, to allow me to think without having to write them (think of ultimate contradiction).
Or probably I will attempt on doing something next to impossible – shut off all thoughts.