Things fall apart

We’ve been together for almost two years this March. Everything seems to be doing well, I thought.

We survived being away from each other for a time. If I were to count the times we were together, I’d be faced with a realization that it was less than the time needed to build a relationship that can withstand the challenges ahead. But for someone who does not believe in long distance love affairs, we survived distance, and we’re together until yesterday.

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I know I am never perfect, but as a man in love, I loved as much as I possibly could.

I never thought I will one day hurt the person I love so much. After the deceptions and lies, I was caught. Never wanting to further the lies, I confessed and am now suffering the consequences and devastated. What lies ahead for me is uncertain, what lies ahead for both of us is even murkier.

All the hopes and dreams about our future are now shelved awaiting our mutual decisions.

It’s been a long time since the last time I experienced this. I can weather almost anything but matters involving the heart, probably no. I admit to have caused all the possible reasons for the break up, but I am hoping to salvage what we have built during the past two years. Ours has faced trials before, my own making most of the time. I’m the immature, the doubting, the less understanding, less thoughtful, but when it comes to loving, I am never found wanting.

But I guess thing started to fall apart the day I started cheating. In the event we’re not able to hurdle this, in the event we both decided to end everything, in the event trust proved impossible to resurrect, then love has just committed the same thing Okonkwo did in the conclusion of Chinua Achebe’s Things Fall Apart.

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2 thoughts on “Things fall apart”

  1. why oh why john? a piece of me ache for ive been in that situation and i do understand how you feel. its alright.i know u can handle it.in time you will find the one who is really designed to understand who you are.the future is brighter so dance with it.time will come, you will discover that things are properly set in order. so cheer up!

  2. hi John,

    Is that the end of a love affair? Can things fall apart so easily? You are good enough but not god enough to handle this.

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