At some point I tried to keep myself from lamenting too much at my current state. My planned life all of a sudden went on a halt and has not recovered its old pace since. I’m a directionless twenty-something living each day at a time. I feel like going to wherever fate, or God, takes me.
But counting one’s blessing in a time where adversities and challenges abound is a good exercise for the soul. It keeps one thankful despite the seemingly endless and unwinnable battle waged every day.
At dinner an hour ago, the lady who was serving me in a carinderia on Boni Drive gave me an impatient look because I sat there for more than ten minutes not touching my food. I realized I was not hungry. I smiled at her and pleaded to give me time to think whether to eat or not. She smiled back at me and then asked me if I want to avail of the free hot soup. “Of course,” I said.
Scenes in life like that of an hour ago allow us to sit on our chairs, place our hands at the back of our head while whistling to the tune of He Ain’t Heavy, He’s my Brother.
At the very least:
I am not yet one of the one-hundred plus victims of A(H1N1) in the Philippines. Thank God. I’m more ashamed of contracting the disease than I am scared of being sick with it.
I can still write; I’d be dead if I wake up one day not being able to write. I can express my thoughts without any fear of prosecution.
I have my family whose members constantly maintain communication and update each other about the successes, failures, love life, career changes, fears, financial needs, and other concerns under the sun.
My romantic life is as blossoming as the flowers in Dangwa. This gives me reason to look forward to the rest of the day.
I have three free (stray) wifi points on the eleventh floor where I am staying this time so that keeps me from staying late at night in humid and noisy internet shops.
I have the best job in the world. Although I am not financially well-off, I can pay my bills and enjoy the little pleasures in life.
Even though the noise of EDSA gets unbearable sometimes, I have windows that I can close any time the decibel level goes beyond tolerance.
I have one best friend in this world whom I seldom see but who never fails to text me every day asking me whether I’ve already had my meal.
I can speak and understand six languages, and is planning to learn a European language soon. Every new language learned means a novel way of looking at the world. I’ve got six ways of comprehending my environment, liberating my thoughts, in a way, from the constraints of a single way of expression.
I have an entire night view of Pasig City and a portion of Manila; the panorama gets stunningly beautiful during mid-night.
I have the readers of this blog who make their presence felt through their comments and views. Sometimes, I become very pathetic to care so much about the number of clicks. Blogging is more than that. That I clearly know.
The things we are grateful for can be something as worldly as the possession of material things or it can be as spiritual as to cause our existence to be more meaningful once we realize them. Man is beyond categorization, I learned. He can be so vulnerable that a shallow glitch can cause him to end his life or can be as resilient that even death will fail to put down his spirit. If this lifetime is to be something, I would want it to be a celebration of life.
Tonight, and I am devoid of any want to be particularly mushy, cheesy, chummy, however you may call it, I am thankful for having this life.
Oh, the smile of that woman who served me in that carinderia an hour ago is also something I am thankful for. And the free soup.