My immediate supervisor told me that the Indian head of our department wanted me to go to her office for an interview regarding a study she was conducting. I could sense the reason for this request. She does not know me; probably she only became aware of my existence through my boss’s report.
I said the perfunctory greeting of a corporate slave to his master. Physically, she reminded me of Grendel’s mother. In Beowulf’a universe the mother remains a nameless dragon, a bastard name attached to her son’s. Only that in my universe the role is reversed, I am an unknown bootlicker represented by an employee number attached to a series of statistics that they call monthly performance report.
She was typing something, probably one of her reports, looking straight at her computer monitor, but occasionally checking the letters in her keyboard, but she never bothered to look at me and check whether my nose and lips are anything different from the monotonic faces she meets everyday.
“So how are you coping with your job?”
“I have no problem with it. I’m learning fast, and even enjoying it at times.”
“How about the people you’re working with?”
“Well, I must admit that they’re a lot different from those in my previous job. We usually talk about things that are, for me, mundane. I understand because they have responsibilities to their families, and I don’t have. So it is rather difficult for me to empathize when they share to me their struggles to make both ends meet. But I am getting by.”
“I see. I hope you see yourself growing with the company. Well, at least give yourself at least six months, then decide whether your vision is the same as that of the company’s.”
I didn’t know if I was just hallucinating, but I saw her dark, full lips twitch.
“Yes ma’am. I am starting to love my job, and based on the report I received for the last three weeks, I am performing well.”
“Yes, I am aware of that as your manager already presented to me your status.”
My status? That time I was already starting to suspect that the department is raising a red flag on my status as there really is nothing to bind me to the company, nothing that will keep me from leaving and finding a different job. A tenured workmate related to me that he heard the department singled me out as the most likely to quit work.
I left her office after some discussion regarding work. Earlier that morning, my division chairperson at the University of the Philippines informed me that I’ll start teaching in the second semester of this academic year. Talking about aligning one’s vision with that of your employer’s, I cannot anymore bring myself to work for another week in my current job. I am set off for UP next month. There’s only one thing of paramount concern to me now:
How to write a smashingly well-written letter of resignation.