My immediate supervisor told me that the Indian head of our department wanted me to go to her office for an interview regarding a study she was conducting. I could sense the reason for this request. She does not know me; probably she only became aware of my existence through my boss’s report.

I said the perfunctory greeting of a corporate slave to his master. Physically, she reminded me of Grendel’s mother. In Beowulf’a universe the mother remains a nameless dragon, a bastard name attached to her son’s. Only that in my universe the role is reversed, I am an unknown bootlicker represented by an employee number attached to a series of statistics that they call monthly performance report.

She was typing something, probably one of her reports, looking straight at her computer monitor, but occasionally checking the letters in her keyboard, but she never bothered to look at me and check whether my nose and lips are anything different from the monotonic faces she meets everyday.

“So how are you coping with your job?”

“I have no problem with it. I’m learning fast, and even enjoying it at times.”

“How about the people you’re working with?”

“Well, I must admit that they’re a lot different from those in my previous job. We usually talk about things that are, for me, mundane. I understand because they have responsibilities to their families, and I don’t have. So it is rather difficult for me to empathize when they share to me their struggles to make both ends meet. But I am getting by.”

“I see. I hope you see yourself growing with the company. Well, at least give yourself at least six months, then decide whether your vision is the same as that of the company’s.”

I didn’t know if I was just hallucinating, but I saw her dark, full lips twitch.

“Yes ma’am. I am starting to love my job, and based on the report I received for the last three weeks, I am performing well.”

“Yes, I am aware of that as your manager already presented to me your status.”

My status? That time I was already starting to suspect that the department is raising a red flag on my status as there really is nothing to bind me to the company, nothing that will keep me from leaving and finding a different job. A tenured workmate related to me that he heard the department singled me out as the most likely to quit work.

I left her office after some discussion regarding work. Earlier that morning, my division chairperson at the University of the Philippines informed me that I’ll start teaching in the second semester of this academic year. Talking about aligning one’s vision with that of your employer’s, I cannot anymore bring myself to work for another week in my current job. I am set off for UP next month. There’s only one thing of paramount concern to me now:

How to write a smashingly well-written letter of resignation.


10 thoughts on “Denouement”

  1. Hello again, I only have 3 blogs and I don’t post all the time. As with generalizations towards men, I think I’ve developed misandry too early in my life, courtesy of being exposed to such things too soon.

    Your blog is very introspective and I follow it because I like the process of introspection and its expression, ie your writing.

    And yes I hope to meet you too! You have my email address naman 🙂

  2. Hahaha, you seem to have a comprehensive knowledge about men as you can already make clear generalizations about us, based on your previous posts from your different blogs.

    I opened your new wordpress blog, and based on my count you already have four blogs. correct? it’s very interesting how you’re able to maintain all those blogs.

    thank you for following this blog. this post is especially important to me as writing this gave me so much freedom. i thought i already lost my old self, but then it occurred to me that i am not the only one experiencing this. hahaha.

    well, i look forward to meeting you someday.

  3. Hi John,

    I’m glad that you’ve got a better job. I was about to email you something about what I feel, from reading your previous posts, about your potential not being commensurate with an apparently thankless miserable job. And I know how it feels to be unable to talk to someone about Dostoevsky.

    I’m sincerely glad for this good news, though I don’t know you. It probably has to do with the fact that I’ve been following your blog so it seems like I know you.

    Keep posting!


  4. anie_chan

    hi sir, you changed your name? what are you doing in johor this time?


    oo, madayon na gid ko, sayang, you can just go on with your plan for a spanish class. see you around bag-o ko maglakat.

  5. Hi John,

    I am glad to know that finally you got to do what you love to do. I am looking forward to visiting you in University of Philippines soon.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s