I have not given much thought to this, but after delivering my last lecture for this year I became aware of the vulnerability of the entire intellectual pursuit and the people who are involved in this endeavor. I was standing in front of my class, my laptop beside me, talking about a topic of which its relevance in my students’ lives is questionable.
I think I am not at all that bad when it comes to teaching. But there are moments, some split seconds, when I feel I am talking to a wall. And during these moments do I feel really bad about myself. It’s almost like experiencing an internal convulsion but whose effect I cannot physically express because the upwelling is securely contained within.
And after delivering my last lecture for 2009, I felt like spewing everything that has remained stuck in my gut.