The previous three nights were spent on bacchanalian encounters. It’s a good thing that I am spending my weekdays away from the city, in a small town 40 kilometers away, because had I been living in the city for the entire week, what would be left of me is a wasted mass of flesh. For three days in a row, I traveled daily to Miagao to conduct my class there and came back to the city during the evening, worked out for an hour in the gym, had dinner with my sister, and left for some intimate meetings. I am frustrated with work and my life in general so I justified this by drowning myself in empty, meaningless pleasures.
And I am struck with consternation how my life has gone this low a point. As has always been, like what it was before, one day I’ll hurl myself back to where it has always been…somewhere up. But for now, allow me to enjoy my stay in the dark, humid crevices of the underworld where I can lose myself and experience the fear and adrenaline of not finding it back.
But as has always been the case, finding it eventually.