My thoughts, exactly, tonight

Tired, exhausted and exasperated even, when I arrived home this evening, the first thing I did as if out of routine, was to blankly stare at the TV monitor. I’ve been working, including the time of travel to and from work, 12 hours every day these few weeks.

Almost always, while on a bus, I would think of something to write here, but every time I attempt to put these thoughts in writing, I simply cower and spontaneously lose my usual bravado.

Tonight, I feel defeated.


14 thoughts on “My thoughts, exactly, tonight”

  1. well ryan, that’s just part of being me remembering things to people that i found interesting..

    i agree this theme is better than the others, i would say there’s something more when you look at it.

    i’m contemplating on reading books by david sedaris because i haven’t read any of his. and i’m not sure if i would like it, i’m more of john grisham and sydney sheldon. however, i see a lot of great reviews for sedaris.

    1. joan,

      thank you for thinking that this blog is something close to interesting. hehe. i think i’ll maintain this theme until a better one comes out.

      try reading david sedaris and you’ll forget about grisham and sheldon. sedaris is the funniest writer there is. you’ll have a hard time containing your laughter and keeping yourself from being shamed by your uncontrolled laughing in case you decide to read his book on a train or in a public space.

      read him!

      and keep coming back here.

  2. john,

    i felt a lump in the throat when i see your blue header. really lonely. is that you john? why? i don’t want you to be this way for too long. don’t make me misty-eyed here.
    its getting melo-dramatic. i thought you hate tele-novelas.

    1. that’s an old photo of a Parisian street i’ve been keeping in my computer meant for those rare moments when i want to wallow and enjoy my own sadness and melodrama. tonight, i just found a reason to retrieve it from one of the folders i seldom open.

      yes, i hate telenovelas not because they’re sad but because they’re inane. i love sadness.

      now i think we need to put a stop to this little melodrama, marvin.

  3. i remember on one of your blog entries, you said something like the you more you changed the theme of our blog the more troubled you are feeling..

    and lately when i come here new theme..

    1. yeah, i remember myself telling that joan. in a way that’s true.

      haha. it’s funny how you remembered things i said here.

      but also, this theme is better than vigilance.

  4. john,
    rest your mind. it’s like a string in the archer’s bow. you need to loose them out once in a while. you’re not defeated, you’re a good writer, you have legions of readers waiting for your next written piece, in time.


    1. i cannot write anything nga because i hardly have enough time for rest. i simply cannot afford to stop working.

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