Salt to taste

This I am quite ashamed of. The last Angelina Jolie film I’ve seen was Original Sin which she starred with Antonio Banderas. I was in high school then. Until this time, imagining her pair of semi-erect nipples and semi-flaccid breasts still gives me high school-ish blush.

Blushing, by the way, is a talent I am yet to acquire, so I think having these juvenescent blushes is only a figment of my colorful imagination.

I’ve never liked her because I always root for the underdog, for the unheard of, for those in the entrails of society. Angelina Jolie is somewhere near the zenith, a woman who shamelessly mocks perfection. And for this reason, I’ve made it a point to avoid any movie that has to do with her, including Finding Nemo. (A friend told me it’s A Shark’s Tale.)

I didn’t realize what I was missing until I fortuitously got involved myself in a date and allowed myself to be dragged to the cinema, this was after a tiring day which was better off spent sleeping or watching reruns of National Geographic shows. But the decision was something I never regretted.

Salt is the best action film I’ve seen in years (I am serious about this); add Angelina Jolie in the equation and one is treated to a tour de force that will haunt the unsuspectingly vulnerable movie-goer several days after.

Nothing is new about this film, in fact I think the recent crackdown of ‘Russian spies’ in the US preempted the theme of the film, making it less original than it already is.

But who cares? Salt does not have any pretension of being original, even the scenes felt like they were plagiarized, directly lifted from a Harrison Ford action flick in the 90s, but this is a film that has Angelina Jolie acting in it.

Where can you find the sexiest woman in the world with the best pair of uncollagenized lips and the most piercing of eyes wallop and and kick butts and kill dozens of SWAT with an improvised bomb made from chemical cleaners and a fire extinguisher?

Salt delivered all these. Forget about the depth of characterization, complexity of the story line, the multiplicity of layers, the subtleties and nuances, this movie is the action genre’s ultimate counterpart for slapstick, hard-core porn, and tear-jerking melodrama. It’s too fast paced that I wished they’d extend the movie and purge me from all the years of subconscious longing for Angelina Jolie. But the director, Philip Noyce knows better. This thirst for seeing more of Ms. Jolie seeking justice for a character (her husband) that was not even decently developed is crudely governed by the law of supply and demand. Deprive the viewers of Angelina right when they are at the height of addiction for her and they will be scurrying to fall in line for her next picture.

She’s like salt, the more one has of Angelina Jolie the thirstier one becomes for her.

I cannot wait for a sequel.


12 thoughts on “Salt to taste”

  1. She has inhabited my dreams lately. I am yet to see Salt and I think that this delayed gratification of seeing Jolie on screen will only lead to more nights of longing for her lips…

    Wait, did that make me sound like a dude? Whatever. I will go lesbian for her.

    1. it just did. hahaha. who wouldn’t go crooked, lesbian (or straight) for angelina?

      go watch it.

      have you already seem chris nolan’s inception?

    1. i didn’t see her literally kicking ass in the film. you must be referring to a different film, witty boy.

      kidding. hehehe.

  2. Angelina!!! I’m a fan.haha. Good to hear that you like Salt. Hmm. Fev, I think she’s in Shark Tale, not Finding Nemo.

    1. ah yeah, shark’s tale. the flamboyant pink fish. thanks james. i’ll correct the error.

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