I received a text message from my brother this evening asking me if I can attend a company program tomorrow where he will be receiving an award for some exemplary job he must have done for the past several months. Despite an already scheduled date tomorrow, I opted to postpone it and be with my brother because an invitation like this from him is not something that comes very often. In fact, I think that if I let go of this chance, he’ll never have the courage to ask me to do something similar for him ever again. He never invited me to be with him on any special occasion when were younger, or when he was in college when he received the most outstanding student leader of the year award.
I secretly waited for him to do it.
We grew distant from each other because brothers are not supposed to be close. Probably, the environment we both grew up in did not foster a relationship between brothers to go beyond mere handshakes and ‘kamusta ka?’. We love each other, this I am quite sure of, but we falter in expressing it.
When we were younger, we cringe at the idea of saying ‘I love you’ to each other. And we seemed not to have outgrown this even though we both professed we’ve already made more mature by the experience each of us has gone through. Deep inside we are both young kids who would rather keep mum than be revolted by schmaltzy expression of what we truly feel for each other. It sounds odd. It feels abnormal.
Not a few times did I ask him to provide me shelter whenever my current relationship felt like it’s on the rocks. He in as many times assured me that if worse comes to worst, he’s willing to take me in, even for a month or longer, until I find my own place. I’m happy it has not reached that point, but I am even happier to have a brother who I know will not desert me in times I need him most.
I hope he reads this and will not find it odd and abnormal that I am writing about him this way.