My long absence from my blog allowed me time to reflect about the entire idea of cynicism, and why people in this part of the world are so adept at cloaking their mistrust of their fellows by feigning happiness and careless abandon. Now I have a clearer understanding why the guy seated next to me on a train straddles his backpack in front of him, choosing to look ridiculous than having his possession snatched from him by me or that guy with a suspect stare standing right in front of him, clutching the bacteria-strewn stainless bar.

My optimism about anything and everything that this city stands for has been totally demolished, confronting me with a cold reality of my insignificance and of everyone else’s who lives in this place. I want to spray sharp invectives at the first, second, third, and so on person I meet every time I leave my room darkened by the shadow of gloom of the building beside it.

It used to be easier to steer myself away from this cynicism before, but as I age, I found it more and more difficult to keep myself unconsumed by it, unscathed by it.

I’m back to writing now.

But I am not the same man.

26 thoughts on “Cynic”

  1. wahaha. i don’t know about me being an internet sensation. the way i see it, you look more sensational than i am. 🙂

    next time i bump into you, i’ll say hi.

    1. oh, i suspected you were somebody who knows me… and it was you. sayang, it would have been a rare chance for me to meet an internet sensation…

    1. if you’re looking for cases here, the rare ones, then it’ll be a very good place for research. you may apply at UP…

    1. napunta sa spam ang mga comments mo, mangie… ayos lang. diliman access party na sa thursday!!!!

  2. It is true regardless of where you are living but you forget one thing that people are all different and the goodness comes out only when they are in small numbers. Unfortunately, public places will never see the goodness of mankind.

    Throw a roll of money on the street and people stop to pick it up but put a poor destitute dying on the street and no one even cares.

    Cheers! Love your post.

    1. our countries have a lot in common. it must have been because i expected too much, i guess if i just lower the bar of my expectations, things would turn out better for the world and for me.

      thanks a lot for dropping by.

    1. renxkyoko, i bet it’s time for you to come home and experience life here in your parents’ place… hehehehe.

  3. i’m having dinner at kitchen, gb3 right now, and it seems to me like you’re the guy two tables away from me drinking his green tea frap, i could be wrong though.

    10:50 PM Saturday 05/28/2011

    1. yeah, t’was I with a friend in college. the diminution of this world is bothering me. it’s nice to know, however, that the bleeding of this sphere into the realm of the real makes things less abstract, a lot more tangible.

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