It took the person I love most to make me realize how low I’ve dipped. And the realization came too late.

I already lost the person forever.

For long I have been convincing myself that going through change is a slow, walk-in-the-park process, where I take my time and I change like the seasons, in an almost natural pace.

But permanent and meaningful changes occur like a revolution. I will not afford losing the people I love in the future because I simply can’t. It’s sad to be left. My young and profligate self dies today.

This post is a manifesto, a declaration that from today on, I’ll value my words and stop creating lies to cover the lies I’ve concocted previously.

It’s painful to realize that a relationship is not all about love. It is about a careful and intricate admixture of commitment, patience, humility, and honesty. In the future, when I fall in love, I’ll fall with all these virtues. But while it is painful, it proved painfully effective in making me understand its true value.

I was given a chance to sincerely love, but I fucked the chance because I thought to love is the only thing that is required of me. I regret my naivete, my selfishness, my being an asshole.