While mending my broken heart, I decided to make this blog private because it is difficult seeing myself falling into the dark pit of self destruction. In a way I wanted to protect myself from me. I have been continually asking myself why I allowed things to go this way. But however I look at where everything is heading, it’s nowhere but the usual fate of relationships going sour: breakup. Am I holding on? Of course, I am. It’s the most rational thing to do. I want to hold on to my memories of us because only at times when I remember them do I feel everything around me is real. Otherwise, I am nothing. All these are nothing.